DAMN YOU CAUGHT ME SLIPPING!!

Richard, First and foremost, I want you to know that I do love you. I am not a liar. I have figured out what's going on. I'm assuming now that you looked through my phone this morning, and saw the text messages in my phone from yesterday. I have no problem admitting that I was wrong for even communicating with the dude. I am also wrong for the type of conversation I was involved in. This is all my fault. I hope that you read the entire conversation, because it was a joke and it said so in the text. I said I'm joking, he said I know, and then he said "so that means no". Again, this conversation should not have taken place. I don't have a logical explaination. No he's not just a cool guy. No we are not really good friends. I won't blame it on you talking to Maria and Tanisha and Lucinda. I will not blame this on you, because it is not your fault. I will say that I am hurt by how you handled the situation. You said that I don't love you and that I am playing with your heart, time, and money. You said some very hurtful things to me. I did have a text conversation, but I don't think that it is worth losing you. I have brought many things to your attention, I discuss them with you, I explain how it makes me feel, and you apologize and we work on it. In my case, there was no discussion, hurtful things said, and something about you going to New Mexico. I can't even grasp the thought of you leaving me. I hope that a text message was not the determining factor in your decision. Also, I feel like this New Mexico situation is something that you already knew about. I am hurt that you didn't tell me that you were considering leaving. I'm not really sure about what else to say other than I love you, the kids love you, my parents love you, I love you, and you treat me very well. Everything has not been a lie. Nothing has been a lie. You are not a sucker. We are both fools in love. We have made drastic changes to our lives for one another, and there is nothing wrong with that. I have not wasted your time, heart, or money. And that is another thing, please don't bring up money when speaking of our relationship. It is an insult. My heart is not for sale. And even if it were, no man could afford it. James, we just had this conversation last night about money. I have been with you when we had nothing to eat, no gas in the car, and no money. I am with you although I know that you don't manage your money well. I took the time out to pay your bills when I could have went to the mall. If it will help us, I will go back to my 9 to 5. You have not wasted anything, because I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, AND I AM MORE SINCERE THAN ANY WOMAN YOU HAVE EVER KNOW. That is one thing about me-I do what I want and love who I want, regardless of what anyone thinks of me. I went out on faith and my heart, and hope that it was not all in vain. I don't want to lose you. I want us to get married, and have a family. In Atlanta, New Mexico, or the South Pole. It doesn't matter to me. The sooner the better. T2

YOU ARE LEAVING ME?

Hello Richard, It's 10:53am on Thursday morning. I am at my place, and you won't answer me. I am trying to keep from driving down to your job. I am struggling. I don't really know what is going on with the whole New Mexico thing. I do know that the way that you said "you don't have to worry about me no more" really hurt me. It stabbed me in the heart. It almost sounded like you were leaving to get away from me. I'm also hurt because that is the only option that is in your head. You figured I would be pissed. Did you figure that I would be hurt? That is what I feel right now...Pain. In my head, throat, back, stomach....all over. You have already made up your mind without talking to anyone. You have already drawn conclusions about me not waiting on you. You have it all figured out. I don't even know what is going on. I'm getting sick. Gotta Go. I LOVE YOU. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE US.

T2

(I guess this was after an apparent breakup. This is an old one. I don't recall the details)

A LOW DOWN DIRTY SHAME

Hey Babe, You Too?? Boy I was just sitting here thinking about how "wrong" I was for falling asleep on the movie everytime we have tried to watch it. I don't think that it is a sleep aid, I think that we work very hard and steady. We are just tired. Exhausted, and In love and comfortable around each other. I love you. Please make to us tonight. Ms. T2

(This was in reference to us attempting to watch "Shame" together. He emailed me sarcastically asking if the movie was a sleep aid. I'm not sure what that last sentence means).

HE HAD ME SINGING THE BARNEY SONG!

Hello Darling!! We are on the phone now, and I'm smiling! You are awesome! You took me to dinner...Awesome....I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you.... Won't you say you love me too.

HE WAS JEALOUS OF THE ENTERTAINERS

Richard, You know I wasn't even having that much fun there. All the girls had attitudes. I do pay you attention. I'm sorry. It will never happen again. I am sorry for going to sleep alone, but you should be proud of me for opting not to go the drama route. I cut it way short. It feels great to be in control of my emotions. I love you. T2

THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO TALK!

Hello Richard, I am at the office. I tried calling you with no success. I saw that I had a missed call from you. I smile and got all excited because I thought that you were "in the mood" to talk to me. I guess I was wrong. No problem. I hope that you have a great day at work. I'm not going to be at Dogwood Manor today. Change of plans. I will see you when I get home this evening. I love you.

ANGRY EMAIL

Okay, I'm done with the preaching about everything. I am just going to keep my mouth shut about things that you do that I don't agree with. We had this great discussion last night about ex-wifeys calling and such. I thought we understood each other. Then.....while I'm in the next room sleeping....you are online emailing the ex-wife! Not only that.. you make me sound like an idiot by saying that "i'm confused, and I don't understand why two people that were married would want to keep in touch".!! We talked about that s*** last night and I explained to you that I do understand keeping in touch!!! Why would you say something like that? Then to apologize for putting her through "the drama".....what drama??? So having said all of that my question as usual is "what the f*** is there to talk about".. You went through "the drama" last night only to wait until I was not around to contact her again!! WOW!! This is not the first time you have done something like this. You did the same thing with Maria.. You said "she doesn't want you calling anymore". You put the blame on me. I would think that you wouldn't want them calling. If it's not something that you want, then by all means don't stop. Keep being you. I stopped my ex-flames from calling because I thought that it was disrespectful, not because anyone told me to... So here's the deal. I'm not saying s*** else about you, your women friends, your phone, your phone calls, your email, your keys to your door,etc. I'm just going to let you be you. I'm not touching your phone. I'm not checking email..I will stay as far away as I possibly can from your social life that doesn't include me. Love you much, T2

FRIENDLY NOTE

HEY BABY! JUST LETTING YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE SET ME UP AN EMAIL ACCOUNT ON GMAIL AND ALSO THAT I LOVE YOU. I THINK OF YOU ALL THE TIME. I ALSO WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM JUST AS CRITICAL OF MYSELF AS I AM OF YOU. I KNOW WHAT MY FLAWS ARE AND I'M WORKING ON THEM FOR YOU.